12.06.2015

The Remarkable Imbak Canyon Trip

Today is December 6, 2015.

It means it has been 10 days since we left Imbak Canyon a.k.a. ICCA.

Actually 2 weeks before we went to ICCA, my Pa told me that we were going there and I was super frustrated. Why? Because I was already too tired with school stuffs and I loathe outdoor activities. But nothing could ever change the fact that I would join the program. We (the participants) went there on November 22, 2015. This program was organized by Kelab Pencinta Alam Sabah (KPAS) and the program's name was Kursus Orientasi Alam Sekitar (KOAS) that now had been the 57th time.

And the miraculous journey begin.


The first two-three days...

When I first arrived at the place that we would stay at for a week, Tampoi Research Station, I was shocked. Why?

  • The hostel was barely a hostel. There was no wall for the hostel. And nothing separates the boys' and girls' part, accept for the wall in the middle of the 'hostel'. See the picture below.
  • If you think the hostel condition was the worst, you're wrong. Because there were only three bathrooms and three toilets. Which means, yes, we share them with the boys. It was uncomfortable. Imagine showering while listening to the boys singing to the shower at the bathroom next to yours. So weird.





We were exactly in the middle of the jungle. If there were monkeys lingering around, we would totally see them. And they would totally see us. According to some other participants, the first night, there were monkeys lingering near to the hostel. They didn't see it, because it was so dark. There were no light at all since the place uses generator for electricity. They could only listen to the sound of the monkeys, which I didn't hear at all. Fun fact: there was no phone line there, but they do have WiFi (such a bliss).

The first night, I slept uncomfortably because I still hadn't get used to the place.

Oh I skipped the part where we (the participants) getting to know each other.

The participants were...


  • SMK Mat Salleh's participants: Bridget (Tet), Melissa, Eng, Adrian (Oyo), Danial.
  • SMK Ranau's participants: Jabran, Ajik
  • SMK Sook's participants: Gloria, Michelle and Rayner
  • SM Goshen's participants: Jun, Elder and Baxter
  • SMK Beluran...'s participants: Idham and Zul.
  • Other schools' participants: Hani (Danial's sister), Wafi, Azzah, my brother, and I (the six of us are cousins)



The programs:


  • Birdwatching. Every morning, after Subuh, all of us would go out from the research station and walk around the jungle, watch for a variety of birds and classify the genes. We couldn't see a thing, because all the birds are up high. Even if we did see, it was only a part of the body. The other half was unseeable.
  • Fishing. Not using the fishing rod, but using our hands. It was a disaster for me, since I don't like touching alive fishes. But I enjoy it nonetheless.
  • Jungle trekking. There is a waterfall in Imbak and it was a long waterfall. But before we were allowed to visit the waterfall, we needed to jungle trekking first. When we were jungle trekking, we discovered Big Belian Tree, blablabla Hollow Tree and a lot more.
  • We were supposed to have night walking. But we didn't, because it was raining so heavily and it would be too dangerous.


Therefore, we practiced for the closing ceremony. All of us did sketches and did well. The closing ceremony was so fun, enjoyable and somehow sad. It was a bittersweet event. The participants were starting to grow in me and I was sad that we only spent a little time together. 

And... you know what? Since this program, I love outdoors activities even more. I appreciate and love nature even more. They didn't organize the program for nothing. It was to raise awareness among us, the young generations, about how our small actions can affect the nature perilously. They organized it in the best way so that it would be both beneficial and enjoyable for the participants.

Sometimes, the turn-outs of something aren't the way you expected it to be. I didn't thought that the program would be kept as my core memory, but it did.

Love,
Pyps. xoxo

11.15.2015

The Not To Do(s) When You Lose Your Phone




Exactly on 13 November, we were told that again, we needed to go to KK. When I got to know it, I felt the tired feeling crept into me. But when I know the venue of the program is at One Borneo Mall, guess who got overjoyed? Not me, but yes, I did feel happy about it. Imagine, this year, we (me and some of my classmates) went to KK half a dozen of times already and no matter how hard we plan to go to One Borneo, we were never there. And this time, we are at One Borneo for a day!


The events.

We went there by a huge green express bus. It was a new experience for me, I never went anywhere too far using a huge express bus. At first, I was excited because the bus was so grand (or so I thought). But when I start to feel nauseous, I took my words back. It was horrible! Even watching Cinta Paling Agung couldn't distract myself from my nauseousness.

Around 9 AM, we finally arrived with the nauseousness that is still there. Oh, the program that we joined was National Science Festival (how can I seriously forget to mention that?). Our nawaitu when we went there wasn't actually right. Right after we entered the mall, we already planned how can we shopping around the mall without being so obvious. Not exactly the right actions for supposedly a group of good students but you only live once. It's okay not to follow rules sometimes. 

Just because our main reason of going to the venue was to shop and eat a lot of good foods, it doesn't mean that we didn't participate in the program. It would be such a waste if we went there just to shop. Hence, we join some competition. And I joined the competition to build a skeleton. It was fun and we enjoyed it so much, not even thinking whether we would win or not. But we won the 3rd out of 7 place! We were hella surprised.

We were having the time of our lives. The program was fun, and the shopping was even more fun. And yes, we bought a lot of good foods as if we'll never eat foods that good again (and this is so not true).


What Not To Do When You Lost Your Phone:

Before I tell you the not to do(s), I'll tell you the behind the scene of my supposedly missing phone. We were having the time of our lives before we went to pray at the surau. We left our bags at the venue and let some of our friends took care of the bags. After we had done praying, we went straight to the bus because it was about time we return to Ranau. And then, I checked my bag for my phone to check if my Ma left any message. It. Wasn't. Anywhere. In. My. Bag. I panicked, and told the person in charge that I would go back to the mall just to check whether I left my phone there. She said okay.

I checked everywhere and there was nothing. I started to cry. Not caring who was being my audience of my pathetic-crying-as-if-I-lost-my-love-of-life scene, I cried. And when our guy friends told me the express bus had already left, I cried louder. It didn't create a scene, since they told us that at the quiet parking lot.

However, I felt so grateful that the van did not leave yet. At least, we could return to Ranau (even when my friend and I are the only girls in the van. The rest other were boys).

So, what not to do when you lost your phone?


  • Being too panicked that you didn't check all of your bags thoroughly. Guess where did I find my precious phone? It was in my other bag. Safe and sound. It was so embarrassing, all the crying for nothing.
  • Giving your phone number to the person in charge and not re-checking it. Because when the person in charge tried to call my phone, a person answered the call and the sound of rooster making its sound was the soundtrack of that phone call. Yes, you read me right. The sound of rooster.
  • Crying when you're panicked. This cause people around you to panic as well.

That's all for the post today. Until we meet again, see you :)


Love,
Pyps. xoxoxoxoxoox

11.01.2015

She.

credit: tumblr


She's an annoying and immature person.
Such an abnormal human being.
Such a fool.
Talking about the hopeless dreams hopelessly.
Talking about something you couldn't figure out what.
Singing her own lyrics of a song that she counts as her masterpiece.
Remembering every single moments.
She's not understandable.

So she doesn't deserve your attention.
So you left her behind the door, 
In the dark, lonely room.

So she doesn't deserve your attention.
For you think like a genius,
And act like an angel.
For you're a saint,
And she's a sinful sinner.

So you think she doesn't need any attention.
Because you think that a person like her,
With her childish way of thinking,
Couldn't think anything besides her dreams.

And in the end,
You live happily ever after,
Leaving a girl that is dying inside but says nothing.
Leaving a girl that never gets the attention she needs.
So you live happily ever after.

To you who live happily,
She thanked you.



Love,
Pyps. x

10.26.2015

Pasca-PT3



Assalamualaikum dan helo.

Sebenarnya I had just finished my first and last k-drama marathon after PT3. I was planning for more, but since the situation isn't really approving, so maybe after SPM. Btw, the drama's title is Full House, I bet that most of you had watched it. That drama sudah lama terperuk dalam my Ma's laptop but I was too busy and lazy sehinggalah kelmarin.

Our school actually planned a lot of stuff for the 2015 PT3 candidates. 
Sure, it annoys me, but since I'll be missing school when I'm not a school student anymore, so screw it. The programs are extremely boring but I will try not to care.

Some of the programs are:

Kem Jati Diri (KJD)

Tajuknya sangat mengharukan, begitu juga dengan pengisiannya. Hari Jumaat setelah habis saja PT3, we were given a taklimat about this beautiful but cruel activity. And Saturday, the program started. It was tiring, fun, refreshing and face sunburning. And now it had ended, I'm sad, but relieved.

Belajar

Aktiviti yang sangat indah dan mendamaikan buat manusia-manusia bergelar pelajar, right? We were forced asked to study the form 4's subjects as a persediaan. I love studying. But the timing isn't right yet. But since this program is good for me, then I'll follow the flows :)

My plans: belajar main gitar, belajar masak, books, books, books, movies, movies, movies, k-dramas, k-dramas, k-dramas, dramas, dramas, dramas. And more. So relaxing and fun.

Love,
Pyps. xo

How I Become Myself #2



I acted like I grew up in a very cool background, cool family, cool childhood songs, cool childhood stories, acting cool all the way. I know, I am so annoying. I know, that I shouldn't try to change something about me. I know, I know, I know.

When I acted like I grew up with some English folks and classical songs, I actually grew up with the songs that majority of other Malaysians grew up with, classical Malay songs. P. Ramlee, Saloma, Sudirman. And actually some Dusunese and Indonesian songs, obviously because I'm a Dusunese and my parents adore Indonesian emotional songs very very much. So if I tell you that I grew up with English folks and classical songs, most of it are lies and even if it's true, it is because I used to listen to some English songs through radio. 

Most of my friends grew up with Disney, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and yang sewaktu dengannya. But for me, okay, I grew up with cartoons too, but only through TV2, TV3, Astro Ceria, Astro Ria, NTV7 and Fox's Sesame Street. My mom resisted to subscribe to all the cartoon channels because we might not sleep early, not study or whatsoever if there are Disney, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and yang sewaktu dengannya (they didn't work).

But children love tv. So was I. Hence, when my friends were talking about how beautiful Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella were, I was talking about the telenovelas, sinetrons, thailand dramas, and my friends would look at me as if I was the most boring person in the world. I was watching those because my mother was Mrs. Drama Addiction so me, as the only daughter, would be the company for my mother. Each and every time.

My Pa never told me stories from storybooks. He made his stories himself. Using my name and my siblings' name, or sometimes the funny names like Gurangak. I grew up with those instead of Cinderella. In those stories, I would be the princess needs to be saved, my brothers would be the saviors. Or some of my brothers would be the bad guys.

Sometimes I'll be jealous of those people who memorized the theme song for Tarzan because I'll never memorize it the way they do. I might be jealous of those people who knows every single song from Hannah Montana. That's why I need to remind myself that I am myself because of my past, because of how I grow up. It's okay to be different.

Love,
Pyps. xo

10.16.2015

How I Become Myself #1




"Tahukah anda? I wasn't myself during these past years." Whenever I told my friends that, even if they angguk-angguk, I know some of them berkata pada hati mereka "eh betul tei tu?". Ahem. I know myself more than you do lah. 

It started since, I don't really remember. Tapi yang pasti since primary school until earlier this year, I guess. I don't know why I want to ungkit this story back. Maybe I just need to write. Actually I read my diaries again. The 2009-2013 diaries. I want to see how much I change. And I do change a lot. 

2009-2010, I don't really think that I was already an actress during that time. It started since 2011 lah tu kan -,-' 2011, I befriend with some people actually. They were so cool, pretty, nice, smart. And I was just a quite smart girl but can be fooled easily. Immature and naive. So I befriended with them lah.

I tried to be like them. I tried everything to look pretty, cool. I didn't care about my parents' advise. When my parents said that I shouldn't do something, I did because my friends said that it was cool and it wasn't cool to follow your parents' rules all the time. 

And I was just a fool back then. They fooled me and I was too naive so I kept forgiving and giving them everything they wanted. HAHA. 

How can I recount back these memories?

Because in every entry in my diaries, I keep saying "mau tau kah, si ____ kan cantik tau, semua orang mau kawan dia. dia kan........" And that was me. I tried to look cool, act cool, I must be up to date. I thought that was me. I lost my happy-naive-innocent self. I thought that my pretends are real and true. Until I fell on a concrete.

Ergh dramatiknya ayat.

Until I realize how I was being such a fool and being fooled by the fools.

And somehow some good things that they taught me masih melekat dengan diri ini sampai sekarang. So I let it be here. Because now they are part of me, can't be separated. 

My advice is, whoever that surrounds you, don't let them make you lose yourself. Always remind yourself about something that you love about yourself. Don't let the things that you hate about yourself control you, that's the only way to stay true to yourself. If you let them control you, I guarantee that you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Like I do.

Love,
Pyps. xoxoxoxoxo

9.27.2015

Wake Me Up When September Ends



October is 3 days to go,
But the September's air starts to smell like October's now.
I dunno why but I get too emotional today. Perhaps it's because the hot coco I drank earlier.

I don't want the time to pass.
I don't want to grow older, though some people said that the years as a teenager are the worst.
I don't wanna leave September.
I don't wanna leave 2015 (too early).

"Ahem. Yeah September is going to end so you should probably go study right now. PT3 is 2 weeks to go darling."
-Pypaa's Alter Ego

Of course I notice that.

But I wonder why I'm listening to wake me up when September ends right now. Mm.


"Here comes the rain again falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again becoming who we are. As my memory rests but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when September ends"

My favorite lyrics of the song because it's so relatable.


Love,
Pyps. xoxo

9.22.2015

3 Things That Make Me Happy



I think that it's crazy how some people think that only certain big things that can make them happy. Money, fame, glam or whatsoever. I'm not saying this just by watching things from afar, I've seen this in front of me, I've seen within my circle. It's ridiculous to see happiness in one particular thing only. Where's the enjoyment? Even if that thing makes you happy, is it permanent? Try to seek happiness in every little thing you see. That way, your happiness might last a little longer.

I've been sad for a long, long time. I don't think that it will ever leave me. It's like the sadness is living inside of me, the way it affects me is it's activeness. But just because I'm sad, it doesn't mean that I need to stay in the darkness forever. So, after a few months of being sad, I try to stand again. Still trying. It's so hella hard, but I try. Still trying. 

So, these days, whenever I feel upset, I turn to the things/people that make me happy.


1. Babies


Yup. One of my hobbies is watching baby videos. I have four annoying younger brothers and two of them are still so little. Not so little. One of them is 6 years old and the other is 3 years old. They are annoying. But still, I can't help myself from watching cute baby videos and laughing with them and longing to kiss them. Watching Yusuf Iskandar and Selma Malika has been my weekly routine now. 


2. Wedding videos.



Colleen and Josh's wedding video has been my favorite for months now. Everytime I watch the video, it lets me dream again. Everytime my heart broke for a boy I haven't even dated (huh) I watch the video and let myself dream again, I would always think, that person will come, he will come, but not now, not here, not now. You're still a kid (HAHA). 

P.S.: They're divorced, though. But I still love them.


3. Looking at tumblr posts about Harry Potter.


Tell me you didn't laugh watching the gif.


I hope that whatever the time is now, wherever you are, whoever you with, you are happy and will always choose happiness.

Lots of love
Pypaa. xoxo

9.12.2015

5 Survival Tips For Friendship


I never have any love relationship breakup as I have never been in a relationship with anyone. There, you just know a fact about me. Some people might say "Lucky you" to me but another fun fact about me: I had a lot of friendship breakups. I don't have any ex-boyfriend, but I have tons of ex-best friends. And I think having ex-best friends are more dangerous than ex-boyfriend because they know a lot of secrets of mine. I'll tell you when I change my mind.

I've always dreamed the books and movies kind of friendships. The kind that lasts forever until my hair is gray, my grandchildren know their grandchildren, and we'll die together (wow I'm too ambitious). But here's a fact: they are fictional. In our life, people will always come and go like the wind. I had read somewhere about not being compatible with each other anymore or something like that. Hence the need to come and go.

However, it might be possible to maintain a friendship for a long time if you put a lot of efforts into it. Everything needs some efforts to succeed. I'm not giving the best advice to survive friendship because I don't know what the best advice is. I read a lot of 'how to maintain a friendship' articles and tried a lot of them, but here I am, with a lot of broken friendships behind me. I'm only writing based on my experiences and my observation.


#1: Don't just focus on you.

It is okay to vent our problems and thoughts to our friends, they are our friends for a lot of reasons and this is one of them; we need a listener. However, don't forget that in a friendship, every person involved should be a listener. The point here is, keep the sharing equal. We shouldn't hog the time with only our problems. When they want to talk about something, listen to them. Don't only focus on our life, problems and thoughts, show interest in theirs too.


#2: Don't gossip.

I think that everyone on Earth know this, or at least heard of this.
When we are in a friendship, the other person in the friendship will put their trust on us. We will share a lot of secrets-the good and the bad. We will share personal stories and the stories should be kept within us and never shared with anyone outside of the friendship. Once trust is broken, it will be hard to be gained. Some people never even get the chance to gain it again.


#3: When we face a problem in the friendship, solve it ourselves.

It is okay to talk to anyone (your family, the people you trust) when you're facing a problem in the friendship. But it is not okay at all to ask anyone to solve the problem for us. Not even our family. The one who is in the friendship is us, not anyone. It's not in their place to solve the problem. This will only worsen the situation. Confront our friend and talk it out.


#4: If we don't agree about what they did, talk about it.

Don't backbite our friend for what they did wrong. If we're dissatisfied by something they did, we should confront them instead of talking trash behind them. We should also never leave them when they do wrong. People aren't a pakai buang thing. When they seemed perfect, we stay with them. When they show a lot of imperfections, we should still stay. Life is a journey of becoming a better person each day, and we should try to help them instead of throwing them away. Imagine yourself in their place before you decide to just leave them.


#5: Open our eyes and try to see our mistakes.

Before, when a friendship ends, I would find myself blaming them. Lets face the truth: we had our fair share of mistakes (unless you're always bullied in the 'friendship'). It is really unfair to put the blame on their side if you also did some mistakes in the friendship. When we say that "nobody's perfect", we should realize that everyone else is also a human and they aren't perfect. When they do something wrong, note that we also did something wrong, because we're not perfect. If we're the first one to note this, be the bigger one to say sorry.


The advice I gave weren't the best ones, as I only write them based on what I see and what I experienced in my almost 15 years life. I hope that some friendships in the world can be maintained by these tips. If I can't be the one who has the book/movie kind of long-lasting friendships, you should be the one.

I'm sorry if I wrote something wrong in this entry, but I hope you earned something from here.
Thanks for reading! :)

"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on desert island... to find real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing." - Baltasar Gracian

 Lots of love,
Pypaa. xoxo

4.04.2015

Movie Review: If I Stay



Assalamualaikum and hello to all of you!

We got cuti for 3 days alhamdulillah but still, there are stacks of homeworks to do and I've done 4/5 of it. And a hiwar text to be remembered. Lets skip the mukaddimah, can I?

So, the last 1-week holiday, I watched a lot of new movies and one of it is this. If I stay. Well, movie ni sudah lama ditayangkan actually but I just downloaded it that week so.. that's it.

This story is tragic. It's about Mia Hall, who just had an accident resulting to a lot of loss in her life. Now, she's experiencing an out-body-experience and she will be deciding whether her body will die or live. There are a lot of flashbacks in this movie, the ups and the downs. But the flashbacks are more about her complicated love story with a boy in a band, Adam. When she's losing so much in her life, she also has her best friend, her family and Adam. She has a lot to reason to go, but there are also a lot of reason to stay.




The main reason I watched this was because Chloe Grace Moretz and one of the characters is named Adam (I'm so obsessed with that name). I can't say that I love the movie, but I don't hate it either. It is somehow good, but maybe the tragic things that happen in this movie making it hard for me to completely love it. I love Adam, but in the same time I hate him. I hate what Mia and Adam doing to each other. But what I hate the most is the loss in Mia's life. It's so devastating. If I'm in her shoes, I think I'll prefer to just go. 

And the soundtracks are so so so nice! I love it so much. Some songs that I keep playing on repeat from the soundtracks album are:

  1. Halo - Ann Brun, Linnea Olson.
  2. Today - Willamette Stone
  3. Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone
  4. Heal - Tom Odell
  5. Promise - Ben Howard


I give this movie 3.8/5 stars. Probably romantic drama doesn't fit me so much. But to the people who love romance movies who make you cry out loud, maybe you should try this. I didn't cry but even Titanic never makes me cry so...

Here's the trailer:






Love,
Pyps. xoxo

4.02.2015

How To Make Everyone Love You (You Don't)

Of course the only reason I'm putting this gif here because of Blair Waldorf.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

This week is one of typical week as usual. Homeworks, presentation, extra class, not getting enough sleep, feeling tired. One word to describe my week? Bliss (note the sarcasm).

I'm gonna talk about something that we can't change, read the title. 
Obviously, humans are not perfect. There is no human in this world that is perfect. I am not perfect. You are not perfect. They are not perfect. Everybody has their own flaws including that was hidden perfectly by the flaw owner.

When you change everything, every single thing about yourself, that you're not sure that you love the change or not, don't you realize, that even if you change everything about yourself, that tidak-sedar-diri hater will still exist? I bet you know it, it's just you don't want to accept that fact. 

Even if you're beautiful and smart and nice and religious and whatever so on, that hater will still exist in your life. I don't know why, maybe that's lumrah for humans? Because there are certain people that have this kind of feeling that urging to find someone else's flaw instead for fixing their own flaws? Jealousy? That's it. You can't satisfy everyone. And everyone wouldn't satisfy you. Sometimes they didn't understand. Sometimes you're the only one who understand.  

Sometimes you're the one who wrong. Come on, you're not always right. People learn something from their mistakes. So, go ask them for their forgiveness and try to fix it. Some flaws need to be fixed, some are too natural and you can't fix it. You're not perfect. But if you keep doing the same mistake, and saying that you're being you, you're not perfect I think that's wrong. I told you. Some of it should be fixed on your way of becoming a better person.

So, segala yang baik itu datang daripada Allah, dan segala yang buruk itu datang dari diri saya sendiri. Assalamualaikum and farewell.


"Sometimes the people around won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them."


Love,
Pypoo.xoxoxoxoxo

1.21.2015

Sometimes



Hm.

Sometimes, I think that I'm being too nice to these people.
They think that they can do anything to me,
They think that they can say anything to me,
They think that I don't feel any pain from what they do,
Just because I smile and laugh whenever I feel the pain.
Just so people won't be uncomfortable with me.

Sometimes, I even think that maybe, maybe I'm the one who's being too sensitive.
"It's okay, they're just joking."
"It's okay, they don't know."
"It's okay."
It feels so shitty to blame yourself when you know that everyone has their fair share of mistakes too.

Love,
Pyps. xo

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