10.26.2015

How I Become Myself #2



I acted like I grew up in a very cool background, cool family, cool childhood songs, cool childhood stories, acting cool all the way. I know, I am so annoying. I know, that I shouldn't try to change something about me. I know, I know, I know.

When I acted like I grew up with some English folks and classical songs, I actually grew up with the songs that majority of other Malaysians grew up with, classical Malay songs. P. Ramlee, Saloma, Sudirman. And actually some Dusunese and Indonesian songs, obviously because I'm a Dusunese and my parents adore Indonesian emotional songs very very much. So if I tell you that I grew up with English folks and classical songs, most of it are lies and even if it's true, it is because I used to listen to some English songs through radio. 

Most of my friends grew up with Disney, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and yang sewaktu dengannya. But for me, okay, I grew up with cartoons too, but only through TV2, TV3, Astro Ceria, Astro Ria, NTV7 and Fox's Sesame Street. My mom resisted to subscribe to all the cartoon channels because we might not sleep early, not study or whatsoever if there are Disney, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and yang sewaktu dengannya (they didn't work).

But children love tv. So was I. Hence, when my friends were talking about how beautiful Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella were, I was talking about the telenovelas, sinetrons, thailand dramas, and my friends would look at me as if I was the most boring person in the world. I was watching those because my mother was Mrs. Drama Addiction so me, as the only daughter, would be the company for my mother. Each and every time.

My Pa never told me stories from storybooks. He made his stories himself. Using my name and my siblings' name, or sometimes the funny names like Gurangak. I grew up with those instead of Cinderella. In those stories, I would be the princess needs to be saved, my brothers would be the saviors. Or some of my brothers would be the bad guys.

Sometimes I'll be jealous of those people who memorized the theme song for Tarzan because I'll never memorize it the way they do. I might be jealous of those people who knows every single song from Hannah Montana. That's why I need to remind myself that I am myself because of my past, because of how I grow up. It's okay to be different.

Love,
Pyps. xo

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