TIRED? | night ramble

I'm tired.
I want to stop.
I cried a lot.
I want to sleep.
I want to rest.

Trust me, all the people that did a lot of success in their life, once said the words above. There are a lot more, but I didn't type it down. I know sometimes we want to stop. Everything is so tiring, everything is consuming you.

But you need to know, all the sacrifices, the tears, the time, the not-enough-sleep-for-weeks, would pay you amazing achievements, as blood is paid with blood. 

Ask all the successful people. Do they just goyang kaki? Do they just sleep around? Do they revise last minute? Do they just enjoy all the time? No sacrifice at all? Because if they say yes, that is nonsense. Ridiculous. Everyone knows that every success need a lot of sacrifices.

So don't stop. And those who hasn't even start yet, start now. Yes, from this second. You need to set your mind to never stop trying. Never stop until you made it. 

I'm posting this sebab I tend to lose motivation all the time. And I need this words. I wanted to write it just in my diary, but I find that a lot of people need this too. So yeah, I posted this. 

Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling!

Okay that's all from me! Farewell and assalamualaikum.

Pypaa. xoxoxoxo



You were hard to find,
Harder to leave behind.

I'll wait,
But not for long.
I'm not that strong.

You are not the only love I've ever known,
But you're the only one I've carved in my bones.
I never thought you would be the one I followed,
I never thought you'd be the kind to leave me hollow.

Don't listen to what they say.
I don't give myself away.

But you,
You led me astray,
Then cast me away.

And I did not love you first,
But I still feel so unrehearsed.
I keep trying,
But I can't find the words.

It was you who puts these thoughts into my head
In my head.

P/S: These beautiful words are lyrics to Ellie Fountain's 'Wait'. I'm just typing it here because the thing that the song describe is poignant yet so beautiful. 

the-girl-who-waited; but-no-one-comes. xoxoxoxo


Me Being Selfish

I literally say that almost everyday in my life these days. 

I say that to myself.

Because I'm used to putting everyone else first before me, tapi lately that thing semakin berkurang in myself. I found myself doing things that I like. Only the things that I don't feel burdened to do. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau masa tu I'm so sleepy, I'll sleep. I'll ditch the things that I should do with the people and just sleep. I'm so selfish and lazy and ugh fucking annoying.

I know sometimes we need to put ourselves first, if we think that we couldn't do something anymore, we should stop. Because it's pointless to stay there anyway, it won't make a progress. 

And in the end, when I leave, or I just do something for myself, I'll regret it so much. Sebab I feel burdened with the guilt. Most of all things, the thing that I'm scared of and hate is guilt. Because guilt brings me to the darkness too. Guilt brings the memories that shouldn't be brought back here. That's why. 


But I'm still selfish T_T

Pyps. xoxo

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