2.19.2016

Me Being Selfish


I literally say that almost everyday in my life these days. 

I say that to myself.

Because I'm used to putting everyone else first before me, tapi lately that thing semakin berkurang in myself. I found myself doing things that I like. Only the things that I don't feel burdened to do. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau masa tu I'm so sleepy, I'll sleep. I'll ditch the things that I should do with the people and just sleep. I'm so selfish and lazy and ugh fucking annoying.

I know sometimes we need to put ourselves first, if we think that we couldn't do something anymore, we should stop. Because it's pointless to stay there anyway, it won't make a progress. 

And in the end, when I leave, or I just do something for myself, I'll regret it so much. Sebab I feel burdened with the guilt. Most of all things, the thing that I'm scared of and hate is guilt. Because guilt brings me to the darkness too. Guilt brings the memories that shouldn't be brought back here. That's why. 

SO YEAH RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO DO WHAT I SHOULD DO EVEN NOW I'M FREAKING FREEZING AND SLEEPY \|-_-|/

But I'm still selfish T_T

Love,
Pyps. xoxo

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