17 Lessons by 17 | a late birthday post

 A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Obviously I procrastinated so much posting this. I actually finished this post in January but I delayed the posting because I don't have the perfect photo for this post (and still doesn't but I need to post something on my blog so who cares about perfect photo). By the time I'm posting this, I'm already 17 years 1 month 15 days old.

I turned 17 on January 11th! Yeay, I finally can take the KPP test. Actually, I already took it and praise to Allah, I passed the test🙌 I was so nervous before taking the test, the idea of needing to pay if I want to repeat the test made me really anxious. Luckily, I passed. So. Back to my birthday. I didn't have a celebration, my parents were busy and still are, but I did get some birthday wishes from the people I love and it was enough for me.

I've been meaning to write this post since my birthday last year, but I figured that probably it would be better if I write this when I am older than 16. 16 sounds too young, and 17 still sounds young but 17 means I have 3 years before I turn 20 so if it's rounded up, it's closest to 20 and it means 17 is quite mature for teenagehood, whatever that means.

So today, I'm doing the honor of sharing 17 main lessons that I learned during my 17 years living on Earth:

1. I actually don't know anything yet. Maybe today when I'm writing this, I'll see myself as a quite wise person for my age, but next year when I read this post again, I'll think that I was so immature and say "girl, you don't know anything."

 2. Read more. It'll show you a lot of things, types of people and bring you to many different places. If you can't experience it yourself, at least you know some perspectives from people who experienced those things.

3. Don't spend too much time on planning, spend it on doing what you want. Just imagine how many time you will waste to plan the perfect way to do something. Most of the times, improvising is a much better choice.

4. When a friendship ended, most probably you might have done something wrong too. Don't blame just the other party. Try to see it from their side. Or if you haven't done something wrong, just think that it ended for a reason. Everything ends eventually, right? Your friendship with that person just ended sooner than you expected.

5. You don't need specific time to be better. Why wait until the next morning if you can make at least a little difference right now?

6. Practice what you preach! Remember the times when you be yourself and don't belittle other people's pain? Well it applies to you too.

7. No matter how much people help you, if you don't want to help yourself, nothing is going to be better. Like people said, after all, in the end, you only have yourself because people will leave.

8. You don't always have to label yourself based on what you believe in. Just because someone doesn't label herself as a feminist, it doesn't mean that he/she worship sexism and fight against equality. Just because someone says he/she is not a Potterhead when he/she already watched the movies or read the series, it doesn't mean he/she hates it. Maybe he/she is just not that crazy of Harry Potter like a lot of people do. I am a Potterhead, though.

9. You have to accept that you're a Ravenclaw at heart even when you're sorted into Gryffindor on Pottermore (because you probably manipulated the quiz a little bit so that you'll be a Gryffindor). Accept what you are! Practice all the knowledge you have from the many self-love articles you had read! I am a Gryffindor at heart, though.

10. Mental illness isn't supposed to be romanticized at all. If those emo songs and pictures with really dark quotes will only trigger you when you're already triggered beforehand, it'll be better if you stay away from them. Some people find them comforting because they don't feel so alone and they can see that other people feel it too. Some people find them triggering.

11. It's not good to download things illegally because these things are the source of money to some people. Money is tight right now to buy music and movies, but try not to get too many things illegally.

12. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR PAIN TO OTHER PEOPLE. You are not in their shoes so you don't have a right to judge whether their pain is valid or not. Don't say "you never get hurt" to other people because everyone has their own definition of what hurt is.

13. Learning is hard, but it's most probably worth our time. Most of the times, what we don't even use the things we learn at school in our lives. Who use indices and logarithms in their daily routine? But it's good to learn a lot of things, who knows how we will use it in the future?

14. Say yes more but don't be afraid of the word no. 

15. Celebrate the little things. Be grateful for the little things and you'll feel more happy with your life.

16. Tell the truth but don't be afraid to keep a secret especially if it's other people's secret. 

17. Learning about other people will teach you something about yourself. And the more you know yourself, the better. It's important to know yourself.

Pypaa. xoxo


A Year Of Reading | 2017 Book Wrap-Up

2017 is so far my best year of reading (based on my Goodreads record) because I read 60 books this year than last year. I only read 26 books last year, which was disappointing because I know I could read more than that. Earlier this year, I only set 40 books for my Goodreads reading challenge but when I reached 40 on May, I re-set my goal to 60 books. It's better than last year, I'm thankful for that. However, I can't help but think that I could've done better when SPM ended but as soon as SPM ended, I end up in a critical reading slump. The I-can't-even-read-one-single-chapter reading slump. It sucks.

Currently reading: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (but I'm so freaking slow reading this book)

This year, I mostly read contemporary young adult (YA) books. There were some that pretty life changing to me but most of them are just average and maybe a couple of them weren't for me. I did read books from other genres and thankfully all of them were good but I'm planning to read more books out from YA contemporary. And I think almost all of the books I read this year were released before 2017. I haven't read a lot of books released in 2017 *sobs* but I'll do soon. I also finished 4 great book series and I absolutely love them all. So here are some books that I totally love in 2017.


Tell Me Three Things - Julie Buxbaum

Summary: Jessie is new in Los Angeles. It's been barely two years after her mother's death and when her father eloped with a woman he met online, Jessie has been forced to move across the country with her stepfamily. One day, she received an email from someone who calls himself Somebody/Nobody (SN for short) and in a leap of faith, SN becomes Jessie's closest ally. In this book, we see Jessie adapting her new life with new people in her life and in the meantime trying to get to know who SN is.

Rating: 4.5/5

Reviews: not my review

Saints and Misfits - S.K. Ali

Summary: How much can you tell about a person just by looking at them? Janna Yusuf is a Muslim Arab Indian-American hijabi teen girl, a Flannery O'Connor obsessed book nerd, aspiring photographer and sometime graphic novelist. She is trying to decide what kind of person she wants to be; a saint, a misfit or a monster. She's also dealing with meeting a monster who is parading around as a saint. In the same time, Janna suddenly finds herself caring what people think or at least what a certain boy named Jeremy thinks.


Reviews: My review | Other fav review


Salt to the Sea - Ruta Sepetys

Summary: “War is catastrophe. It breaks families in irretrievable pieces. But those who are gone are not necessarily lost.” World War II is drawing to a close in East Prussia and thousands of refugees are on a desperate trek toward freedom, many with something to hide. Among them are Joana, Emilia, and Florian, whose paths converge en route to the ship that promises salvation, the Wilhelm Gustloff. Forced by circumstance to unite, the three find their strength, courage, and trust in each other tested with each step closer to safety. Click to watch the book trailer.

Rating: 5/5

Reviews: My review (not really, just a rant) | Other fav review

My Lady Jane - Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, Jodi Meadows

Summary: King Edward, the King of England is dying at 16 and names his cousin, Lady Jane as his heir and mandates her to marry Gifford (G) Dudley, the second son of a powerful duke. Jane, a book lover and G, who spends his daytime as a horse and being popular to women during the night, are both not interested in getting married. However, they find themselves married to each other and that they are pawns in a plot to make Jane the Queen of England. There is also someone else who's after Edward's throne, which is the worst. 

Rating: 4.8/5

Reviews: My review (I was just ranting) | Other fav review


Arkitek Jalanan - Teme Abdullah

Summary: "Ia kekal dongeng... jika engkau tidak mula berjalan" Menceritakan kisah perjuangan Teme dan Ahmad untuk menjadi dua pelajar Malaysia pertama yang mendapatkan keputusan First Class Honours yang bukan mudah untuk didapatkan. Mereka menghadapi pelbagai krisis untuk mendapatkan kejayaan tetapi mereka sentiasa mencari jalan untuk meneruskan perjalanan mereka dalam mencapai impian mereka.

Rating: 4.5/5

Review (not mine): review

A Work In Progress - Connor Franta

Summary: Exploring his past with insight and humor, his present with humility, and his future with hope, Connor reveals his private struggles while providing heartfelt words of wisdom for young adults. His words will resonate with anyone coming of age in the digital era, but at the core is a timeless message for people of all ages: don't be afraid to be yourself and to go after what you truly want.

Rating: 4.8/5

Reviews: My review | Other review


The Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater

Summary: Since she was born, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem. But she is drawn to Gansey, who is on a quest and encompassed 3 other Raven Boys; Adam, Ronan and Noah. Now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

Series overall rating: 4.8/5

Reviews: The Raven Boys (mine) | Other people's overall review

My 2 cents for this series: I totally started this series very late but better late than never, right? I finished reading this series a few months ago and until this day, my heart still aches when I think about the characters in this book. Throughout this series, I felt like I was with them during the good and hard times, the hunt for Glendower and I still miss the characters a lot. 

To All The Boys I've Loved Before - Jenny Han

Summary: Lara Jean's love life turns into a wreak havoc when her little sister sends a bunch of the letters that she wrote off to her crush and former crushes. We see as she grows up, falls in love and making the right decision about her future and the person she loves.

Series overall rating: 4.8/5

Reviews (not mine): Book 1 | Book 2Book 3

Other books that worth mentioned but don't fit in any category here: The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd-Jones (4.6/5), Emma In The Night by Wendy Walker (4.5/5)

As you can see, my reading journey this year is better than the last few years and I'm so grateful to be given the opportunity to read tons of book. I'm aiming to be a little better next year and lets hope I'll succeed on doing so. I hope you do too.

Look the stars. Aim. Ignite.  -Geekerella, Ashley Poston

Nabila. xo


The Post-SPM phase | I graduated?

Jelitawan OSIZAL (JELO) 2017 graduation photo❤
When SPM ended, it meant that I'm officially a secondary school graduate, right? Does that mean I already graduated, or I will only graduate when the SPM result is known? Whatever, whatever, no matter what, I hereby declare that I'm no longer a secondary school student. I am a free, unemployed happy girl (not that I wasn't happy before).

Um, hello people! It's been a long time. I kind of forget how it felt to blog, and my brain is still slow in producing ideas when I write, so please bear with this post.

When I meet people I know these days, the first question they ask me will be how was SPM?

My answer is: SPM was great. The key is always revising. If you did revision in all topics or at least pay attention in classes, then no matter how hard the question is, you will somehow get an idea on how to answer the questions. Even the Bahasa Sanskrit question in Sejarah too, which was an unexpected question (note to future SPM candidates: DO. NOT. TRUST. RAMALAN. QUESTIONS). SPM also taught us to always prepare for the unexpected because there are some questions that we're not prepared for such as Biology Paper 3, which required us to make our own experiments. SPM was great, I did the best I could, and although my confidence is really on the lowest point right now, I hope it will turn out great. 

The graduation day was a week before SPM and I bet you that we already predicted what SPM would do to us but we were blind to the signs.
It has been 4 days since the last day I met my friends, and I already miss them. My brain is slow in translating my feelings; during the last day I was with them, I didn't even cry. However, when I saw them posting pictures on Instagram, I teared up a bit. Maybe a lot. I didn't sob but I did cry. When I once said that there's nothing I'll miss about school, I totally lied. What will I miss the most about school?

5 Muslim of course 💕 I miss the class already. I miss our class teacher, Miss Suseyltah. And I miss these weirdos too (look at how they pose, look me in the eye and say they're not weird at all. their poses showed who they truly are). I'm thankful for all the times we had, good and bad. I'll miss breaking 'the stair rules' with the other girls.
PRS family 💖 I have been one of this family for almost 5 years and I succeeded in going through ups and downs with this family. For that, I'm thankful. PRS will always have a special place in my heart and I'll always be one of them, no matter where I am.
I was not in this picture. Only the Economy stream students were in this picture, and I can't find any other decent OSIZAL picture in my storage, so I chose this picture. I'll miss my batchmates, OSIZAL too. For all the good and bad things we've gone through since we were form 1, I am proud of where we are now. Congratulations, OSIZAL, for everything. I'll always love you guys (especially JELO. our picture is up there).
My crush is a great human being Nope. Not going there. Never. 

Enough with the appreciation speeches. So, moving on to the answer of the next obvious question: What will you do after SPM? Will you work, or what?

1. I will learn to drive and have my license. Truth is, by the time this post is uploaded, I'm at the driving academy already. My Ma is very fast, you know. She figured that next year, she might need a driver for my brothers to go to school. I'm quite nervous right now when I'm writing this because I don't know what to expect for tomorrow. I hope it'll go well.

Ma said my face looks excited. I'm not, I'm nervous.
2. I will find work. My teacher offered me a work as penjaga koperasi next year and I'm not sure if I want to be one, because I don't want to meet people at school, and be at the school 😅 I'm going to find another job, but if I can't find one, penjaga koperasi it is.

3. Read a lot of books. Self explanatory. 

So, that's how my post-SPM phase is currently going. Since SPM already ended for me, and will officially end soon, I hope that all SPM candidates stop stressing about the result too much. Enjoy the holiday, and do some things that will help you in the future. Do something beneficial during the holiday, but please have a lot of rest too. Keep praying for the best, never stop praying and put your trust in fate (so easy to say but it's so hard to do).

No one knows what changes, big or small, lie ahead. One thing is certain, our journey's not over.
- Plio (Dinosaur, 2000)

P.S. What are/were the things that you'll do/you had done during the post-SPM phase? Mind sharing?

Afifah Nabila. xo


Solitude | a poem to describe my day

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

P.S. I hate myself these past weeks. I'm being oversensitive over simple things, it's so irrational and so not me. It's meanie and quite b*tchy. And no matter how much I feel guilty about me being a meanie, I keep doing it over and over again. Oh, and I eat too much too. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's SPM. But it's very irrational.

Pypaa. xx


The love that you deserve | a short post

"You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and if you're OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try."

I want to talk about this quote, but I find nothing to be talked about. So just read, and let the words speak to you.

Lots of love for this book and the movie adaptation. I don't think I'll ever be bored of the movie, this is my comfort book/movie and one of the books/movies that can make me cry and cry again no matter how much I've read/watch them. It's amazing, wonderful and hold a special place in my heart.

P.S. I posted a book review for 'Love, Rosie' a while ago. In case if you want to know more about it, you may check them out 😊

Lots of love,

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